During a conversation with a friend the other day we both came to the same startling conclusion: Many women (and probably men too) do not have an accurate image of what their own physical appearance really looks like. It is sad really, that most of go our entire life not realizing how truly beautiful we really are. What do you think the main underlying issues behind this phenomenon are? Is it that we are trained to think we need to look like the photo shopped magazine covers? Is it that the overall lack of confidence in one self is spilling over into our eyes ability to see a realistic image? I am not real sure what the main issue here is, but I do know that we need to start fighting back against these fun mirrors we see ourselves in everyday and get to the real us. Here are a few great tips on how to train yourself to see your own body through the same lenses you see the rest of the world.
According to the Mayo Clinic these 4 steps will help you change your personal opinion about yourself in regard to all kinds of different situations, including how you view your body.
1. Investigate Your Thoughts: Identify the things in your life that might aid in the deflation of your confidence in yourself. This does not need to just pertain to confidence about your physical appearance. ANYTHING that deflates confidence is something that needs to be identified.
2. What Did You Eat (in your thoughts) Today?: Identify your thoughts and feelings that you feed yourself throughout the day. Are you using positive self talk? What kinds of things do you say about yourself? What kinds of things do you think? You know the saying “be careful what you say, your words are powerful”? Well, I would like to propose that that saying should also be “be careful what you think, your thoughts are powerful”. The things that we entertain in our mind open the door for a reality of that to stick in our lives. If we live under the constant thought that we are ugly, fat, or anything else that speaks down on us we are opening a door for that to become a reality that we then have to live under. STOP THINKING THOSE THINGS ABOUT YOURSELF. Avoid negative self thought.
3. Put Those Thoughts to the Reality Test: When those negative thoughts come into your head give yourself the time to contemplate where they are coming from. Is it based on a comparison to someone or something that you shouldn’t be measured up next to? Get rid of it. Is it based on the fact that you just don’t feel great that day? Get rid of it. Does logic tell you it’s not true? Probably isn’t, get rid of it. Do your friends insist you are crazy for believing it? You probably are, get rid of it. Here are some types of negative thoughts to look out for:
· All or nothing thinking: This is where something is either good or bad. Learn to accept that there is good in everything and bad in everything. Try to focus on the good things about yourself.
· Rejecting positives: Many people with a poor self image tend to minimize the positive things because you don’t feel they deserve to look at them as something great about themselves. Stop doing this.
· Don’t make feelings facts
4. Start Training Yourself to Think Positively: It sounds a bit off, but it will actually benefit you to talk against those negative thoughts when they come up. Starting believing (but before you believe just start saying) “I am beautiful”. The same way that thinking and saying those negative things about yourself opens the door for negative thoughts to be a reality in your life if you think and say positive things you open the door for those things to take seed in your life. As crazy as it sounds, sometimes when we do it, even when we don’t feel it, it trains us to feel it. Overtime you might find that when you say “I am beautiful” or “I love my hair” or “I look great today” that you actually do believe it. Additionally stop talking about your weight and the things you don’t like about yourself. If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.