There are so many areas of life that we work on keeping in line and balanced. However, many people neglect their dating life as if it is something because it happens without trying it doesn’t need special attention. Let me explain. If you want to be healthy and fit in terms of your physical body you focus on working out. Without the desire to be fit you wouldn’t work out. Therefore there is more attention put toward your work out and how effective it is. However, with dating, you will most likely date with or without a focus on how effective it is. I challenge us to take the same stance in dating as we would any other “healthy” habit in our life. Below are some great to tips for a healthy dating life.
- Know Who You Are: I challenge you to sit down and describe who you are. Be honest and open with yourself. List your dreams, fears, passions, skills, strengths, weaknesses, etc. Then assess what of those things you want to grow in, what you want to change, and what you really love about yourself. When you start dating pay attention to how much the person makes you grow in the areas you wanted improvement and how much they bring out the best in you. If being with you doesn’t make you stronger in your strengths and less apt to do the things you feel are weaknesses then you might want to consider if it is a healthy situation.
- Have Your Priorities Straight: Before you start dating anyone it is important to know what means the most to you in life. Be grounded in your beliefs and your ideals before diving into a relationship. When you do this you come into a dating situation with a clear idea of what you believe and what you don’t believe. You will be more apt to not compromise your ideologies for someone else’s just because they make you feel excited inside.
- Don’t Give Up You: Manage a healthy balance between doing the things that make you you, and spending time with the other person and doing the things they like to do. Remember if they really care for you they care for the person who likes the things you liked when they met you.
- Make an Agreement: Write a few reasonable things that will do during your dating life. I would say that you “wont” do but I don’t like negatives. So, instead of saying “I will not let my dating life distract me from my passion” say something like “I will remain focused on my passion”. Couple of things, the passion example is just an example, but for the sake of not being misunderstand I feel I need to explain. It is quite possible to have a healthy meaningful relationship where you share your life with someone but still hold onto the passions outside of them that make you happy too.
- Set Boundaries: Boundaries are important in any form of relationship. Boundaries in the dating world are essential to a healthy dating life. You need to know what keeps you stable and grounded. You need to know what makes you feel most like you like who you are being, and then you need to draw lines that cross over into an area where you see yourself not being who you know you are inside. STICK TO YOUR BOUNDARIES. But, if you do make a mistake, pick yourself up, forgive yourself and do it better next time. Shame doesn’t do anything good for anyone. Let it go.
- Watch the Speed: Be careful that you are mindful of who and what you are involving yourself with. To some degree only time can show you who a person is. Of course there are always the “love at first site” instances but just because you love them doesn’t mean you have to commit everything you could possibly give to a person to them at that moment. Live in the moment of love, but enjoy the process and don’t try and rush anything. Love happens in its own time, and quite naturally progresses without our help when its right.
- Don’t Look to the Media for Advice: SERIOUSLY, don’t. Gossip Magazine is not a good place to go to have some magazine editor tell you how you should conduct your dating life (and especially you sex life). If the mass media knew how to date in a healthy manner then the divorce rate wouldn’t be where it is today. Find people in your life that have healthy relationships that have shown to last over time and ask them for advice and guidance.